Week Six Recap

IT'S OVER! IT'S ALL OVER! ... The Fudgie Whales break into the win column and avoid matching the legendary Empire franchise for futility. I have said it before and I will continue to say it, Fudgie Whales are too talented to be where they are and I am hoping this is the jump start the franchise needs.

IT'S OVER! IT'S ALL OVER! PART TWO ... Runs N Throses' perfect season came to a halt courtesy of Hurricanes.

The entire Bandit Division has been outscored and despite that Bubba Army is 4-2. X-Factor is the second highest scoring team behind Runs N Throses (793) but have been outscored 731-752.

Next week will be more of a mid-season review than a weekly recap. I know you will be on the edge of your seats.

Bay Area Thrashers 104, Armed N Dangerous 99

Bay Area Thrashers bested Armed N Dangerous 104-99 to earn their fifth win of the season. The Thrashers (5-1) were led by Josh Freeman's 23 and Frank Gore's 22 points, while modest balance finished out the rest of the roster. Armed N Dangerous (2-4) were once again led by Aaron Rodgers who scored 27 points. Rodgers had three touchdowns in the second quarter and things were looking good for AnD, but no one else stepped up to support Rodgers with only the Packers defense scoring more than 15 points. Both teams are now 1-1 in the Storm division and we can now start using the phrase, the Thrashers control their own destiny en route to the playoffs.

Thrashers now face Money Inc, while Armed N Dangerous whose season looks to have gone tits up square off against Runs N Throses.

Bubba Army 97, Money Inc. 94

The combo of Fred Jackson and Cam Newton led Bubba Army (4-2) to their fourth straight win with a hard fought 97-94 victory over Money Inc (1-5) and padded their lead in the Bandit division. Jackson scored 27 to earn player of the game honors. $Cam Newton continues to use the Al Davis mantra and just wins baby as Newton added 19 points to the Army scoreline. Greg Little notched 13 points as well. Money Inc made a late rally and tied the score at 94 before Shonn Greene sealed the Army win by scoring the last three points of the game. Drew Brees scored 22, Aaron Hernandez scored 19 and Run DMC scored 16 for a valiant Money Inc roster.

Bubba Army now travels to face X-Factor and Money Inc. hosts the Storm Division leading, Bay Area Thrashers.

Fudgie Whales 112 Husslers 59

Michael Turner tallied 26 points as Fudgie Whales (1-5) defeated Husslers (2-4) 112-59. A week after scoring 48 points Turner and Marques Colston combined for 50 points. Joe Flacco added 19 while Steven Jackson scored 15. Husslers received 17 from Matt Forte and 14 from Greg Jennings and not much else.

Husslers now face off against fellow 2-4 UO Grandmasters and Fudgie Whales face Hurricanes.

Hurricanes 104, Runs N Throses 89

Hurricanes (5-1) matched Runs N Throses (5-1) five game winning streak by taking down the previously unbeaten Throses 104-89 and took over the Buccaneer division lead. Once again The Dreamiest Quarterback in the Universe earned player of the game honors with a game high 21 points and LeSean McCoy matched his quarterback with 21 points as well. Wes Welker scored 16 and Jeremy Maclin added 15 for Runs N Throshes in the losing effort. The Hurricanes defense held Throses to a season low 89 points and received balance scoring across the board Jimmy Graham (19), Mike Vick (19), Brandon Marshall (16), Arian Foster (15), Ron Gronkowski (14) and David Akers (12) powered Hurricanes as they took control of the division race. Hurricanes only trail Thrashers for the best record overall as they fell to them in week one.

Hurricanes now host Fudgie Whales while Runs N Throses face off against Armed N Dangerous.

Playground Legends 86, UO Grandmasters 80

Playground Legends (3-3) handed UO Grandmasters (2-4) their fourth straight loss 86-80 in a game so ugly, the entire Bandit division pointed and laughed at them. The only thing of note is that the Ravens record scoring pace for a defense took a hit as they scored only five points.

It only gets uglier as UO Grandmasters now face Husslers, while Playground Legends host Warriors.

X-Factor 124, Warriors 116

Ahmad Bradshaw had a career high three rushing touchdows in route to 32 points as X-Factor (3-3) defeated Warriors (3-3) 124-116 and sent the Warriors to the Buccaneer basement. Megatron continue his streak of nice outtings with 18 and rookie A.J. Green scored 16. Warriors received 21 from Ray Rice and 19 from Tony Romo.

X-Factor now hosts Bubba Army and Warriors travel to face Playground Legends.

My Team of the Week

QB … Aaron Rodgers … 27 points

RB … Ahmad Bradshaw … 32 points

WR … Jordy Nelson … 18 points

WR … Wes Welker … 16 points

TE … Rob Gronkowski … 14 points

TE … Jason Witten … 14 points

PK … Robbie Gould … 14 points

DF … Green Bay Packers … 17 points

Week Five in Review

In Week Three Wes Welker scored 50 points, by HIMSELF. In Week Four Aaron Rodgers scored 50 points, BY HIMSELF. This week a team's combined score failed to match those individual performances.

I have been staring at my monitor to try and find something fun, witty or interesting to add and I got nothing.

Bay Area Thrashers 132, Fudgie Whales 48

The Bay Area Thrashers (4-1) nailed a 100.0% Efficiency Rating as they defeated the Fudgie Whales (0-5) by 84 points, 132-48. Player of the Game Pierre Garçon tallied 29 points to lead a very balanced Thrashers attack. Philip Rivers (21) and Frank Gore (20) both scored 20+ points. When Larry Fitzgerald scores 10 points and you win comfortably, you are doing something right. I continue to be astounded by the fact that Fudgie Whales are winless on the season. The entire Whales roster continues to conspire against Coach Gasper by simply refusing to show up. Kyle Orton and Josh Brown combined to score 0 points. Three other players score single digits and Santonio Holmes led the team with 16 points. I truly hope this team gets it together and can play the role of spoiler. In the NFC West, with a few wins they can come back and win that division.

Bubba Army 120, UO Grandmasters 90

Bubba Army (3-2) continued their nice run with a 120-90 victory over the sliding UO Grandmasters (2-3). Former LSU Tiger Dwayne Bowe was obviously pumped up off the Tigers win over the Florida Gators and snared 7 catches for 128 and two TDs to scored 31 points. Fred Jackson decided that he liked Bowe's 31 points and put up the same total and $Cam Newton threw down 26 points. Kevin Walter earns his way into this recap just because he's a white WR. The pathetic UO Grandmasters head coach has to be questioning himself. Poor roster decisions led to the beating from the Army. UO's decision to start Stevan Ridley (1 point) over The Law Firm (27 points) leaves this columnist scratching his head. The Grandmaster's coach obviously doesn't pay attention to things in New England. Start the Law Firm every week, pure and simple. The next horrid decision by the Grandmaster's skipper was sitting Deion Branch. I mentioned that The Dreamiest Quarterback in the Universe called Branch the best WR in the NFL and where was Branch and his 20 points? Sitting in favor of Dallas Clark and his 1 point. Don't start Branch this week though. Let's see if that 45 points would have made a difference. My quick and remidal math tells me it would have. Jahvid Best teased the Grandmaster's fans with a brilliant performance and a team leading 26 points. The Army fans taunted the Grandmasters on their way out of the stadium by yelling, you are who we thought you were.

Hurricanes 115, Playground Legends 59

The Hurricanes (4-1) blew to their fourth straight victory 115-59 over Playground Legends (2-3) who dropped their second straight games. Hurricanes quarterback Mike Vick survived the whole game and scored a team leading 26 points followed closely by Arian Foster's 22. The fact that the Hurricanes are winning despite Chris Johnson lack of production is amazing. Jimmy Graham continued his hot streak with 20 points. One has to wonder if Legends got so used to the Raven defense scoring 20+ points every week that they just assumed the Ravens would easily get 20 points on a bye week too. Former Virginia Cavalier Matt Schaub lead the Legends players who weren't on a bye with 26 points which was nearly half of the Legends total score.

Runs N Throses 117, Money Inc. 101

Runs N Throses (5-0) decided not to be bettered by Bay Area Thrashers and RnT also hit a perfect 100.0% Efficiency Rating in their 117-101 victory over Money Inc. (1-4). Despite a low score of 117, Throses had outstanding balance as every postion player score between 17 and 20 points. The Dreamiest Quarterback in the Universe scored 19 points. Let's face it, that is all we really care about for this game.

Warriors 79, Husslers 75

In an ugly, ugly game the Warriors (3-2) defeated the Husslers (2-3) 79-75. Dane Sanzenbacher's 12 points on the bench are the highlight for the Warriors to me. The Ohio State Buckeye wideout has shown his gritty toughness. The Husslers highlight to me is Stephen Gostkowski nailing 12 points. The Husslers need to focus on coaching instead of trying to make ridiculously bad trade offers to other teams in the TBFL and their results might get better.

X-Factor 126, Armed N Dangerous 122

X-Factor (2-3) defeated Armed N Dangerous (2-3) 126-122 in the TBFL Game of the Week. Ben Roethlisberger fired five TDs and scored 30 points and Megatron showcased his skills to a national audience and scored 24 points. Once again Chris Wells led all X-Factor running backs in scoring but was on the bench. Armed N Dangerous received solid performances as well. 27 points from Aaron Rodgers and a season-high 30 points from All Day. Victor Cruz scored 29 points which would have easily given AnD the win but he was on the bench making highlight reel TD receptions.

We get back into divisional play this week as Runs N Throses battle Hurricanes and Warriors travel to face X-Factor in the Buccaneers Division.

The Storm Division games are Armed N Dangerous traveling to face Bay Area Thrashers while cellar dwellars Playground Legends and UO Grandmasters square-off.

In the NFC Worst, Fudgie Whales host Husslers and Money Inc. faces off against Bubba Army.

My Team of the Week ...

QB ... Tom Brady ... DONE!

Week Four in Review

Once again, I prove to be a jinx by not only being a huge Red Sox fan and watching them collapse but I point out how well Baylor’s Robert Griffin III has played and he goes out, throws his first interception at a critical point and Baylor drops one into the loss column. Sorry, RB3.

There is a fantastic anomaly with the team’s records at this point that will be covered in this week’s ST4T1ST1C4LLY SP34K1NG column but I am completely enamored by it.

Let’s get to Week Four’s results.

Armed N Dangerous 133, Money Inc. 72

Armed N Dangerous (2-2, W2) rolled to a 133-72 win over Money Inc. (1-3) to retain their division lead. Aaron Rodgers put on a ridiculous performance with over 400 yards passing, four passing touchdowns and two rushing touchdowns. Rodgers’ 50-point performance is the second best scoring effort by a quarterback in TBFL history behind Michael Vick’s 52-point performance in Week 10 last year. Steve [CAR] Smith tallied an impressive 26 points to secure an easy victory. Money Inc was led by Drew Brees and Darren McFadden as they combined for 35 points. There was little else worth noting for Money Inc.

Armed N Dangerous host X-Factor, while Money Inc travels to face Runs N Throses.

Bay Area Thrashers 129, X-Factor 128

That sound you heard at approximately 12:04 Eastern was Coach Beveridge cheering as LeGarrette Blount’s seven yard run broke the tie and gave the Bay Area Thrashers (3-1) a 129-128 victory over X-Factor (1-3). Things were looking bleak for the Thrashers until Blount rumbled 35 yards to pay-dirt to tie the match-up with little time remaining before Blount then broke the hearts and spirit of X-Factor’s fan base. Thrashers received excellent balance from their roster with all six starting position players scoring 17 or more points with minor man-crush Jason Witten leading the team with 23 points. Reports of desention permeated from the bowels of the X-Factor locker room as Chris “Beanie” Wells from THE Ohio State University was rumored to be questioning his place on the bench. Experts are also left questioning how Wells and his 31 points were left on the bench over nearly everyone in the X-Factor starting line-up. Hakeem Nicks’ 32-point and Megatron’s 29-point performances will largely be ignored due to the heartbreaking loss. Factor now is waiting on medical reports regarding Big Ben and his injured foot.

Bay Area Thrashers now face the winless Fudgie Whales, while X-Factor will try and regroup against Armed N Dangerous.

Bubba Army 116, Warriors 107

Bubba Army (2-2) posted back-to-back wins with a 116-107 victory over the Warriors, who are a two-game losing streak. As much as I root against the guy, Cam Newton continues to mock me and my anger directed towards him. Newton posted 36 points to lead a balanced Army line-up and made up for deficiencies from Brandon Jacobs and Andre Johnson. In fairness, Johnson did go down with an injury early and is now questionable for this week or even longer. The Warriors fell victim to Tony Romo being Tony Romo and Orange Skeletor ignoring Tim Hightower. Ray Rice and Tony Gonzalez posted nice numbers but it was all in vain as the Warriors are left looking for answers and are also waiting to see if Cedric Benson will be available this week.

Streaks will collide as the two-game losing streak of UO Grandmasters travel to face Bubba Army. Warriors host fellow 2-2 Husslers.

Hurricanes 111, UO Grandmasters 106

The Hurricanes (3-1) rolled to their third consecutive win with a 111-106 victory over UO Grandmasters. Michael Vick led the Hurricanes with 34 points. Jimmy Graham posted another nice performance and notched 29 points. Vincent Jackson, Chris Johnson and Brandon Marshall all scored double-digit points for the Hurricanes. UO Grandmasters fell to 2-2 despite nice outings from Matthew Stafford, Felix Jones, DeSean Jackson, Owen Daniels and the Chicago Bears defense. It appears that UO’s complaining about lack of coverage has affected their performance on the field. 0-2 since whining about lack of words, so as I said stop whining, work on winning and maybe you can get some coverage.

Hurricanes travel to Playground Legends while UO Grandmasters travel to Bubba Army.

Husslers 117, Playground Legends 85

In one of the oddest games I can recall, Husslers defeated Playground Legends 117-85 and both teams are now 2-2 on the season. Husslers were led by Matt Forte’s outstanding 32 points and Greg Jennings and Santana Moss each scored 23 points. Peyton Hillis threw down 11 points despite suffering from a 120 degree fever … or least that is what I am saying it was. Legends once again received a major performance from the Ravens defense, but it could not save them this time. I’ve done no research on this but the Ravens have scored 900 points for the Legends this year, while the rest of the team has scored 10 points, COMBINED!

Playground Legends now host Hurricanes while Husslers travel to face Warriors.

Runs N Throses 110, Fudgie Whales 76

In a game where only the final numbers were surprising, Runs N Throses (4-0) defeated Fudgie Whales (0-4) by a score of 110-76. The Dreamiest Quarterback in the Universe had an off-week but still managed to score an inspirational 19 points and once again, early and often, found Wes Welker as the former Red Raider tallied a sterling 30 points. The rest of Throsers rosters was apparently thrown off by TDQBITU’s new hair style and did little to help as Throsers were never in the running for another Team of the Week award. This reporter has been completely thrown off by the season long performance of Fudgie Whales. Whales should quite honestly be better than 0-4 and truly facing the chance that they could give Empire a run for their money by going winless for the season. Single digit performances once again litter the Whales roster with no possible combination to provide a win.

Fudgie Whales host Bay Area Thrashers while Runs N Throses are a hefty favorite over Money Inc.

My Team of the Week

QB … Aaron Rodgers … 50 points

RB … Peyton Hillis … 11 points

RB … Chris Wells … 31 points

WR … Eric Decker … 22 points

WR … Wes Welker … 30 points

TE … Jimmy Graham … 29 points

TE … Jason Witten … 23 points

DF … Baltimore Ravens … 28 points