Let’s start things off by congratulating Runs N Throses and Hurricanes as they are the first two teams to lock up playoff berths.
Now for the obligatory update on The Team to Be Renamed in 2012. They make trades to improve themselves “for this season and beyond” but yet they are 0-3 since they waved the white flag with trades. The Team to Be Renamed in 2012 shipped out 242 points and received 212, but that is not the real number because they never even rostered a kicker they traded for. Yep, that was a trade for 2011. No giving up at all. I would say The Team to Be Renamed in 2012 are quitters, but they only gave up for this year. I can’t wait for 2012 to watch them fail again. To steal a famous line … of course, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong. I could do an entire 1999 Dennis Milleresque rant on The Team to Be Renamed in 2012, but I digress.
Let’s move on to teams that didn’t quit.
Armed N Dangerous 120, Fudgie Whales 119
Armed N Dangerous (5-5) was trailing by 59 points heading into Monday Night, with a trio that averaged right at 60 points and they scored exactly 60 points for the Come From Behind at Midnight Win over Fudgie Whales (2-8). You really have to appreciate a team that was 2-5 and did not give up and has reeled off three wins in a row. Aaron Rodgers continued his MVP type season and fired off 30 points. MJD scored 22 and the Packers defense contributed 19 in a balanced effort. The 2011 TBFL Gods are just not on Fudgie Whales side. Whales have one of the better performances on the season and find themselves on the losing side of the ledger for the eight time. Despite those losses they are not the worst team in the TBFL in my book. Whales and X-Factor are both winners of the hard luck award this season.
Armed N Dangerous return to division play against the UO Grandmasters while Fudgie Whales fight Money Inc.
Hurricanes 133, Husslers 70
Hurricanes (8-5) joined Runs N Throses in the playoffs as they held off the Husslers (4-6) for a 133-70 win. Arian Foster has firmly entered Beast/HAM mode at this point in the season and after NINE WEEKS, Chris Johnson finally had his first 100-yard rushing performance. Foster and CJ28 combined for 61 points and Jimmy Graham continued his amazing run of game with 21. Husslers must have missed the memo that John Beck wasn’t starting and they got the zero they deserved.
Hurricanes square off against The Team to Be Renamed in 2012 (a.k.a. The Worst Team in the TBFL), while the Husslers travel to face off with the Bubba Army.
Money Inc. 122, X-Factor 83
Money Inc.(3-7) unlike a certain team has shown the heart that a warrior should have and they firmly embraced the role of spoiler and just may have knocked X-Factor (4-6) out of the playoffs with their 122-83 victory. Michael Bush (FROM?! … Louisville) ran over, around and through a porous defense for 32 points and Drew Brees added 24 for the victorious Money Inc squad. X-Factor received 19 points from Ray Rice to lead the team. Over the last three weeks Rice has scored 72 points, just wanted to point that out.
X-Factor host current #1 seed Runs N Throses while Money Inc and Fudgie Whales battle in an elimination battle.
Playground Legends 80, Bubba Army 46
Wow, just wow! Playground Legends (5-5) defeated Bubba Army (7-3) 80-46 and are in the wildcard race. Legends are 11th in scoring besting Fudgie Whales by 0.8 points a game, but Legends are 5-5 and Whales are 2-8, completely unfair. Legends also win despite posting two zeroes from their starting wide receivers, again completely unfair. Legends could be in trouble as rumors and reports are saying that Schaub is done for the year. Thanks to poor GM’ing, $Cam Newton loses his first TBFL game, but also thanks to poor GM’ing, we have a new league worst courtesy of the Buffalo Bills scoring -14. The Cowboys DF scored 23 while sitting on the bench. As per usual, a backup QB outscores Newton but this is the first time that Bubba Army lost as a result.
With slim pickings at QB the Playground Legends travel to Bay Area Thrashers and Bubba Army host Husslers with their second chance to close out the Bandit Division.
Runs N Throses 96, Bay Area Thrashers 88
Perennial TBFL powers battled as Runs N Throses (9-1) defeated Bay Area Thrashers (7-3) 96-88 but both teams maintained their division leads. I will have to admit that for the first time all season I truly have to question Thrashers decision making. Larry Fitzgerald is a MUST START despite his poor quarterback. Fitzie throws down 33 in complete distain for his owners actions and my remedial math tells me that just might have helped. Thanks to the Fitzie benching the fact that The Dreamiest Quarterback in the Universe had a sub-par game meant nothing in the end. Yes 28 points is nice, but the dreamboat misfired on far too many passes.
The two top teams in points scored face off as Runs N Throses travel to X-Factor. Thrashers can lock up a playoff berth with a win and have a chance to wrap up the division as well as they square off against the QB deprived Playground Legends.
UO Grandmasters 105, The Team to Be Renamed in 2012 74
Finally, in REPUS BOWL 2011, the UO Grandmasters (3-7) shed the mantle of Worst Team in the TBFL as they ended their league high seven game losing streak with a 105-74 victory over The Team to Be Renamed in 2012 (3-7) and they took over the title as The Worst Team in the TBFL. UO’s team manned up this week as the Bears DF tallied 34 points in a majestic effort. Laurent Robinson scored 22 and Deion Branch and Matthew Stafford added 16 apiece to give the Grandmasters their first win since Week Two. Let’s face it, The Team to Be Renamed in 2012 is actually the worst in TBFL history, not just this season. They have the most regular season loses (90), the most overall losses (95) and will quickly cruise to 100 overall losses next season. They have this distinction despite taking a year off. This proves the adage that quitters never win and winners never quit. You give up and karma will bitch slap you. How can a team give up with they are 3-2 and are on track for a 7-6 finish? Anyone think that 7-6 would get into the playoffs this year? I do. Once in the playoffs anything can happen, I never wanted to miss the playoffs, ever, let alone do it on purpose.
UO Grandmasters look to try and keep their playoff hopes alive as they battle Armed N Dangerous. Meanwhile, The Team to Be Renamed in 2012/The Worst Team in TBFL History will lay down for a beating from the Hurricanes on their trek to 100 overall losses.
I need to cleanse my palate from the taste of quitters and let’s talk about winners and teams that want to make the playoffs.
Runs N Throses and Hurricanes have secured playoff wildcard berths at the very least as no current wildcard outsider can get to 8 wins.
Bubba Army and Thrashers are in with a win or losses from X-Factor and Husslers and both could clinch their divisions this week as well.
The final two slots are going to be fun to track. Armed N Dangerous is currently the leader for the final two spots but with three weeks left, every team is truly mathematically alive. Armed and Legends will eventually square off in what could be an elimination battle. Legends are going to have to scramble with no Schuab for the rest of the season. The current outsiders have a lot of work to do.
Armed N Dangerous and Playground Legends can both take the division from Thrashers still.
Husslers are the only team that can take the division from Bubba Army.
